barrykleiman

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old                                                                The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught
me. It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer
rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:”
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God
never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one
is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no
for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ”In five years,
will this matter?”.
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you
did or didn’t do.
34. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come.
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield.
44. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift

Barry C. Kleiman & Associates
Connecting Resources with Opportunities Since 1980
2936 Domingo Ave, Suite #5
Berkeley, CA 94705
(510) 549-7300 fax (510) 549-7306
barry@bckassociates.com

From an abosolutely wonderful, inspiring, informative book:

Training Camp by Jon Gordon

Here are 10 tips to be your best this year. Also share it with your team or anyone who wants to be their best.
1. THE BEST KNOW WHAT THEY WANT
“I think a lot of people spend their life being average or good at something, but they don’t strive to be great. The best of the best not only know what they want, but they want it more.”
2. THE BEST WANT IT MORE
“We cannot measure desire in terms of merely thought and wishes. The best not only do the things that others won’t do and invest the time others won’t invest, but they do so with passion and intent to get better. The best are never satisfied with where they are.”
3. THE BEST ARE ALWAYS STRIVING TO BE BETER
“If you are striving to get better, then you are always growing. And if you are always growing, then you are not comfortable. To be the best, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable, and embrace it as a part of your growth process.” It’s a process…
“The best see where there is room for improvement and their humility and passion drives them to improve. The average ones however, don’t see it or don’t want to see it. The fact is past success does not determine future success. Future success is the result of how you work and prepare and practice and how you strive to improve everyday. It’s a commitment that the best of the best make every week, every day, every hour, and every moment. Force yourself to be uncomfortable.”
4. THE BEST DO ORDINARY THINGS BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.
“Work hard on the right things. It means you must identify the very ‘little things’ that are fundamental to your success, and then you must focus on them, practice them, and strive to execute them to perfection.”
5. THE BEST ZOOM-FOCUS
“There is no secret recipe.”
“If you incrementally improve each day, each week, each month, by the end of the year you’ll see remarkable results and growth. When you zoom-focus on the process, the outcome takes care of itself.”
“Master the fundamentals.”
6. THE BEST ARE MENTALLY STRONGER
“Being mentally strong means you stay positive through adversity. It means you are resilient when facing pressure, challenges and change.”
Weed and feed: “Each day you need to weed out negativity and feed it positivity. You need to weed out the self-doubt and negative talk and feed it positive thoughts, memories and visuals.”
7. THE BEST OVERCOME THEIR FEARS
“Those that succeed, those that reach the pinnacle of greatness, are able to face this battle (overcoming fear) and win.”
8. THE BEST SEIZE THE MOMENT
“When the best are in the midst of their performance they are not thinking ‘What if I win?’ or ‘What if I lose?’ They are not interested in what the moment produces, but they are only concerned with what they produce in the moment. Rather than hiding from pressure, they rise to the occasion. As a result, the best define the moment rather than letting the moment define them.”
9. THE BEST LEAVE A LEGACY
“You leave a legacy by living and working with a bigger purpose, you leave a legacy by making your life about more than just you. You leave a legacy by moving from success to significance.”
10. THE BEST MAKE EVERYONE AROUND THEM BETTER
“The point is to strive to be your best and inspire others to be their best, because it’s in the striving where you find greatness, not in the outcome.”

I’m not sure what seemed to pass more quickly, the last year or the last decade but regardless; the thing that is most glaring is time marches on!

What will this year hold for you?

What will you hold for it?

What changes do you wish to make?

What people do you to reconnect to, speak with, hear from?

What changes must you make………………. NOT WISH, but, are really committed to making?

• Lose 8 pounds,
• Get a (new) job
• Start a better dialogue with an old friend, relative, boss, co-worker

The list goes on of things to do for each of us. Will you remain the same or make some changes?

What will they be? Why will you make them? HOW will you make them?

Tough questions sometimes but those three questions are tantamount to real change….not just what but why and how!

I can promise you as I am promising myself –

I WILL MAKE some changes and not just for me but for the people with whom I’m associated and certainly for those I love!

I am blessed for many reasons and want to remember to count my blessings then grow and go from there!

I am blessed and want to honor those things by taking them all to a new level of appreciation…use them as leverage for my personal growth…I’m older than I was but I’m still playing hard!

I’m fortunate to have read and then studied with some of the true masters of success and personal development and now know what I need to know to do what I have to do; take action!

In order to get where you want to go though, you need direction…..

In order to get there as quickly or as efficiently as possible or along a desired route you need direction;

You need a MAP (Massive Action Plan) and your map must be rooted in the fundamentals that are fundamental to your own success and your own happiness

The Pareto Principle* speaks of the 80/20 rule, the critical few vs. the trivial many:

Not everyone is willing to do what’s necessary to be what they want to be, to get what they want to get…. don’t whine though if you’re not willing!

*In 1906, Italian economist Vilfredo Pareto created a mathematical formula to describe the unequal distribution of wealth in his country, observing that twenty percent of the people owned eighty percent of the wealth. In the late 1940s, Dr. Joseph M. Juran inaccurately attributed the 80/20 Rule to Pareto, calling it Pareto’s Principle. While it may be misnamed, Pareto’s Principle or Pareto’s Law as it is sometimes called, can be a very effective tool to help you manage effectively. 

Don’t ever think your success is about you or that you can be a true success without having an external focus!

Bernard Madoff had an internal focus, as did Tiger Woods…………think about it!

Do you do something every day to express your gratitude?

Do you do something every day to bolster what matters most?

Every action we take, everything we do, is either a victory or defeat in the struggle to become what we want to be.

——Anne Byrhhe

Get a MAP and follow then follow it with an NBA (Next Best Action) to get you on track

Happy, healthy New Year to you and everyone in your world!

Barry

Barry C. Kleiman & Associates
Connecting Resources with Opportunities Since 1980
2936 Domingo Ave, Suite #5
Berkeley, CA 94705
(510) 549-7300 fax (510) 549-7306

barry@bckassociates.com 

“Highway 5” revisited with a bittersweet twist……..

 My request for places to eat on “5” did yield Tita’s Pupseria (Buttonwillow, CA) which has now been corroborated several times over though as a great pit-stop.

What the request also yielded was the message below which I’ve kept anonymous out of respect:

Barry –

I hope all is well with you and you had a successful trip to Southern California.   Let’s plan on getting together one of these days if you are in the Palo Alto area.

On a separate note I am potentially in need of a favor.  I have a good friend who is terminally ill with pancreatic cancer (he is only 49!).  He is a devoted Cal grad who has been going to Cal football games continuously for the past 25+ years.   I want to do something special for him (field pass, practice access or something like this) .  Do you have any connections in Cal Athletics or thoughts?

Hope to hear from you soon.

A 

Long story short; I was able to help this person with the favor to his friend and frankly honored to be able to do so for the CAL vs. USC game.

Barry – Again thanks for making the hook-up with Cal Athletics.  My buddy had a great time though the outcome of the game was less than desired.  Ive attached a photo of him and his best friend, who went with him (“Buddy” is on the left).    Take care and speak with you soon.

A

Barry – Well put.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family.  Im glad we were able to reconnect this year.  (btw my friend was ecstatic he was healthy and able to attend the big game.  He continues to fight the good fight,)

 A

If recanting this seems braggadocios please accept my apology, if that’s the case I’m doing a horrible job of story telling, it’s hardly the intent!

Certainly I was thrilled to have the opportunity to help and the means to do so, however, the reason I’m sharing the story here is to give further credence to my ongoing plea to seek out your “Acres of Diamonds”.

You may, be able to provide some thing to some one in need of that some thing and, at the end of the day isn’t that the point?

Below there are a two links:

The first is called 17 Stratagems to Success. It is a video presentation given by a gentleman named Spike Humer, a teacher of mine that clearly articulates this point among many others.

Spike contends he’s not a teacher but if you decide to invest your time watching and listening to this you’ll agree with me I’m sure! I can’t imagine you’ll find him anything other than wonderfully insightful.

 Google him if you like but it suffices to say I have a great deal of respect for his outlook, mindset and style……….share it as well.

(PLEASE GIVE THE VIDEO TIME TO LOAD and after it does note the number of people in attendance……..each paid upwards of $1500.00!)

Steve Jobs speech to a Stanford graduating class is a phenomenal read if you want some perspective on life from his point of view….share it if you think it’s appropriate with a friend, family member etc

We’re all busy, I get that, but, we should never be too busy to have a level of external focus.

Everyone talks of “networking” and many about just how difficult it is for them or, that they have no time to do so. In a course I taught earlier this year to a VISTA group (http://www.americorps.gov/about/programs/vista.asp) I explained that “NETWORKING” was just another word for common courtesy.

Acknowledge birthdays and anniversaries of those you know, pass along a story, a book title, an anecdotes, a jokes etc, etc, etc……….anything you can to add some heartfelt, tangible value to someone else’s life at different points during the year. As one of my clients (a V/P Treasurer) once said, “don’t wait until you need something to see your banker”.

Including Spike Humer I have been fortunate during the last 2 years or so to work and study with some incredibly bright, interesting people which then affords me access to other powerful articles, lectures, readings which I’m happy to pass along as I’ve done in this writing.

Should you have a chance or need to consider them, whether that be for your own interest or to share with a friend, former co-worker, colleague, boss, roommate etc. please feel free.

If any of this stimulates dialogue between you and I during the coming year that would be great. If any of these things also stimulates, facilitates or otherwise initiates something positive in your life; whether that’s with a New Years resolution, in your networking with others, in your business, with your career, in your home, with coaching a youth team in the neighborhood or helping out someone you never met who needs your help that would be…..pretty cool as well!

 Closing comment: The above words were difficult to write simply because I wanted so much for my thoughts to be clear, for my aim to be true. I am thrilled to have taken the action to write them though because doing so was a goal.

(I learned a great deal about goal setting this year from Gary Ryan Blair aka “The Goals Guy”, another terrific teacher……check out what others have said)

Bill Gates: “Thought without action is daydreaming”

Ayn Rand: “A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving.”

What’s written above is my attempt not to daydream but to achieve a worthy goal, being in contact while hopefully adding some value along the way.

My very best to you and everyone in your world for a happy, healthy New Year filled with excellence on all levels!

Warmly,

Barry

P.S. If any of what’s been shared here interests you and/or you’d like me to forward other like material during the year click here, I’ll see that it happens!